Setting My Heart Free

You've been on my mind,
every since our last phone call;
I've been hiding from you,
because I was afraid to fall.
I think about you constantly,
since I'm not ready to set my heart free.

You want to take it further,
But I'm not ready to let go;
I don't want to make big steps, so
why can't we just take it slow.
I've been hurt so many times before
so I'm afraid to open up, then your walking out the door.

So many men have came in and out of my life,
Some even wanted me as their wife;
A few times I was tempted to get it a try,
But they were not faithful so I had to say goodbye;
So I was left alone to cry, because I can't deal with lies.

So if you're serious, I am willing to stick by you,
My heart is not a game to be played by a fool;
I'm looking for love one on one,
So if you are willing we can have some fun.

Bonita Jacobs 091805

Have you ever wondered why people flock to you?
Have you ever stop to think what was their view?
Have you ever thought to ask them their opinion
of what their true feeling were of you?

Some people tend to cling for the wrong reasons
Some people tend to misconceive you too
Some people tend to hang around for one season
Some people never get to know the real you.

Have you ever thought they saw something that you do not see
Have you ever thought it was something you tried to hide
Have you ever thought it was beautiful and evolving
or was it dramatic enough for you to push aside.

Some people claim to see you inner feeling
by looking directly into your eyes
Some people can tell if you are suffering
even though you smile to cover your lies. ........091005

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

Last night I made love to my husband, even though there was nothing unusual about us making love this time it was totally special. A song came on the radio "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes" if you have never truly listen to this song you should. It leaves me in tears everytime I hear it. Mik held me in his arms assuring me that everything is okay, I can stop crying now. Is it that easy? Sometimes I dwell on the past eventhough the present is more stable. Sometimes old habits are hard to break. But hopefully I can stop crying like Malik said. There will be no more smoke cloudy my missions in life.......Bonita

Putting Down My Pen

Today my mother in-law found out that I write erotic poetry....smut was her choice word. which set be back a bit because poetry is my venue and I can tell that she does not support me as a poet. So how am I going to handle this situation.....You know me at first I was ready to put down my pen and stop writing.....well that didn't last too long and hopefully it won't work because I live to create. I could only imagine what Mimi is saying to Malik about my poetry.....Malik is my husband and if he dislike my genre I will give it up....I won't be happy about it but I am willing to change for him................Bonita

Bonita's Thoughts

There is no theological reason why I must cling to you
I should not have these desires but I do

I can not control my thoughts

I could not deny the fact that I have a ting for you
As I live & breathe and witness your every mood

I dare not retain my thoughts

I sigh whenever you are near, even though you
have not noticed that I am here, there is no rejection
to my reflection since there is no recollection of my intentions

I can not explain my thoughts

I stare at you in amazement, memorizing your walk,
your talk that voice and the way you articulate your words

I dare not complain of my thoughts

I dreamt that I shared your space, breathe your air and tasted your sweat.
Yet it is only a dream. The mere of your skin resting against mine, makes me break out in a sweat, makes my kitty wet but it will do my body just fine.

I will not remove my thoughts

All I have now is my dreams, collective memories to mesmerize in.
I fantasize of our union, an event so far fetched yet attainable

I will not reframed from my thoughts
090105