Not One Tear

It's been 12 years since I stepped foot into St. Michael's Catholic Church. Father Chuck was still around I remember the last time I was here. Julio and I were attending to marriage counseling because he wanted to fuck around and Father Chuck said there was nothing wrong with a man desiring other women as long as he can provide for them.... Well if you don't know me by now...let me tell ya what happened back then. I said to Father Chuck "You lost your motherfucking mind if you think I'm going to stay married to a whore, fuck Julio and this church" I walked out pregnant and hotheaded. I left Julio and St. Michael's that day and I've been away every since.

Now I'm here for his last call and I can not shed one tear. I looked around at all this crazy chics crying over him knowing that he made babies faster then the energizer bunny. Guess what today I found out that he fathered eight children. Geez Father Chuck I wonder if he could finance them all. But that's not my problem, right?. I married the damn man and all these women are crying over him. Sheila and the other four women looked at me as if I had something to say but I didn't. Some people think that you should not speak ill of the dead. But my mind was racing with more like if I don't have a positive thought keep my mouth shut. But I did have one positive thing to say about Julio. He helped me create Rodrigo. And now I looked down at Roddie hoping and praying that he was not going to ask me why all these women are crying over my Papa. Every time some one spoke of Juio, they cried out and Roddie looks up at me searching for answers. All I could tell him was she was one of Julio's friends and Roddie answered "Oh".

At the burial ground I was asked to placed a rose on his casket. I did it but my stomach knotted up because of fear. 14 years of bullshit build up inside me, tied in knots, causing me not to shed one tear................ Julio when you needed it lease, I cried for you..............Bonita